I have been having many restless nights. My focus has shifted, I’m permanently preoccupied to the point where I feel like I’m just not giving those around me sufficient of myself … keeping myself closed off. I may appear disinterested and faraway, but I’m dwelling in one place at the moment.

The place where I am trying to remember what your voice sounds like. The place where I am trying to remember your smile, your laughter, your touch. The place of safety that you always were to me. The place of peace, quiet and rest. The place where we fulfilled our needs within each other. The place where we could be ourselves without judgement. The place of strength we were as partners in everything, spouses, lovers, best friends.

I’m tired from remembering and hurting and feeling lost and adrift.